A Wooden Cock

mike
Member

Posts: 154

A Wooden Cock Jan 21, 2015 0:06:30 GMT 9

Quote

Post by mike on Jan 21, 2015 0:06:30 GMT 9

Click here for the text. Let me know of grammatical mistakes if any.

***
A Wooden Cock

A man named Ji Shengzi was charged with training a gamecock for the King.
Ten days later, the King came around and asked, “Is it ready yet?”
To which the trainer said, “No, Your Majesty. It still exhibits some air of bluster.”
Another ten days passed and the King asked again.
To which the trainer said, “Not yet, Your Majesty. It still exhibits some agitation in the presence of, or in earshot of, its opponent.”
Still another ten days passed and the King asked again.
To which the trainer said, “No, Your Majesty. It fastens its baleful look straight upon its opponent trying to intimidate it.”
Ten days passed again and the King came back and asked.
To which the trainer said, for the first time, “So-so, Your Majesty. The most bellicose crow would fail to remotely ruffle its repose—it looks for all the world like a wooden cock.
Its virtue has blossomed. Now, no cock would dare fight this one. Just one look, and it would be cowed into quick retreat.” ❖

***
P.S.
Do you have any idea how to anglicize the name of the trainer?

Last Edit: Jan 27, 2015 23:49:51 GMT 9 by mike

smith Member Posts: 246	A Wooden Cock Jan 22, 2015 14:14:48 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by smith on Jan 22, 2015 14:14:48 GMT 9 Jan 21, 2015 0:06:30 GMT 9 mike said: Do you have any idea how to anglicize the name of the trainer? 紀渻子 - Kiseishi? (maybe?)

emilytiger Member Posts: 61	A Wooden Cock Jan 22, 2015 15:01:11 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by emilytiger on Jan 22, 2015 15:01:11 GMT 9 Sorry in advance, but how about... Jishengzi (?) www.purpleculture.net/chinese-pinyin-converter/

emilytiger Member Posts: 61	A Wooden Cock Jan 27, 2015 19:12:56 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by emilytiger on Jan 27, 2015 19:12:56 GMT 9 My only idea there is that "To which the trainer said" sounds a little awkward when there is no quote (as there is not after the first time the question is asked). I would suggest "And the trainer answered."

rmedhurst
Member

Posts: 39

A Wooden Cock Jan 27, 2015 20:28:14 GMT 9

Quote

Post by rmedhurst on Jan 27, 2015 20:28:14 GMT 9

Nice story - I don't feel confident enough with the original to comment on the translation, but a couple of points.
Grammatically, the "they" in the final sentence should probably be "it."
For me, the sentence "It still exhibits some air of bluster." stands out as being a little unnatural.
And one more, which may be even more a question of taste: I would go with "Ji Shengzi" as a more common way of writing a Chinese name.
...
Actually if you google "Ji Shengzi" you can find some other translations to compare, should you wish to.
www.google.co.uk/search?site=&source=hp&q=%22ji+shengzi%22&oq=%22ji+shengzi%22&gs_l=hp.3...421.3858.0.4081.15.14.1.0.0.0.296.1716.0j8j3.11.0.msedr...0...1c.1.61.hp..8.7.1150.0.btIQeRn8sDI

smith Member Posts: 246	A Wooden Cock Feb 2, 2015 19:45:41 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by smith on Feb 2, 2015 19:45:41 GMT 9 Well, this has been up for a while now. Let me know if you want me to post it to the front page.

smith Member Posts: 246	A Wooden Cock Feb 3, 2015 14:10:57 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by smith on Feb 3, 2015 14:10:57 GMT 9 OK then. I'm trying to space out the stories so I will probably upload this one on Friday.

smith Member Posts: 246	A Wooden Cock Feb 6, 2015 9:49:15 GMT 9 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by smith on Feb 6, 2015 9:49:15 GMT 9 Alright, this is ready to be posted, just let me know what Japanese title you would like to use and the Author's name.

elipsett
Member

Posts: 108

A Wooden Cock Feb 6, 2015 16:14:51 GMT 9

Quote

Post by elipsett on Feb 6, 2015 16:14:51 GMT 9

My personal feeling is that Chinese names should use the Chinese pronunciation (and Romanization).

Bit late on this, but given the length of the piece, I would just refer to them as "the King" and "he" most of the time, I think.
Change a few "said" to "replied" and such to emphasize that there are two people in a conversation.

Last Edit: Feb 6, 2015 16:16:17 GMT 9 by elipsett

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Edward Lipsett
Moderator
Kurodahan Press

Post by mike on Jan 21, 2015 0:06:30 GMT 9

Post by smith on Jan 22, 2015 14:14:48 GMT 9

Post by emilytiger on Jan 22, 2015 15:01:11 GMT 9

Post by emilytiger on Jan 27, 2015 19:12:56 GMT 9

Post by rmedhurst on Jan 27, 2015 20:28:14 GMT 9

Post by smith on Feb 2, 2015 19:45:41 GMT 9

Post by smith on Feb 3, 2015 14:10:57 GMT 9

Post by smith on Feb 6, 2015 9:49:15 GMT 9

Post by elipsett on Feb 6, 2015 16:14:51 GMT 9